Our penchant for instant gratification is killing us — literally killing us.
The desire for immediate reward drives us to act against our own best interests just so we can be instantly pleased in some way or another. We want what we want so much that we are willing to slowly kill ourselves either physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, mentally or all of the above.
Let’s count some of the ways people are swan diving off the Earth:
· Food. We eat ourselves into obesity-related early death because cake tastes good right now. Five slices later, we’ve momentarily filled a void. It’s killing us yet we don’t stop eating and we don’t exercise despite the need to because it takes time to see or feel the benefits of it. They don’t show up until “later” and later is too far off.
· Debt. We may be drowning in frivolous consumer debt but we keep on shopping because these new boots will look great right now. Saving and paying down debt takes time; it has benefits “later”.
· Substance Abuse. We abuse illicit or prescriptions drugs because they provide pleasure and escape right now from problems/feelings/pain which is a relief (albeit a very temporary one with a very high price tag in all other areas of life). We don’t stop because addressing and/or healing the problems/feelings/pain is hard and takes time.
· Sex. We hop into ill-thought out relationships & engage in high-risk sex very quickly because it is a distraction, gives us hope of lasting love and takes away the loneliness right now. Getting to know someone first and deciding if they are relationship material or if they are even worth bumpin’ uglies with, takes time.
These are just a few examples of the ways we are ruled by Instant Gratification. Impatience and low self-esteem are a couple reasons we are prone to make short term decisions that have long term consequences. Once we get into these destructive patterns, the spiral down begins. We do it over and over even when in the middle of experiencing the consequences which are often just as immediate as the pleasure. It’s fitting to uses the cliche “death by a thousand cuts”.
I have read that when the pain of the consequence is great enough, we will make changes. I’m not so sure about this; have you seen the consequences of addiction? The bar keeps moving on what is acceptable in terms of penalties and sometimes that penalty is literally death. People do eat themselves to death. People do get so overwhelmed by debts they commit suicide due to the stress of it all.
I know so far this has been one gloomy ass piece but all is not lost because I also know there is a way to stop the death spiral. It starts with the decision to stop. Your decision to stop must be your own. Your method of action must be your own. But since I try to practice what I preach, allow me to offer a process that helps me because maybe it’ll help you:
Rethink rewards. You can still get the instant gratification you crave but you need to think about it in a new way. Instant gratification doesn’t have to have bad consequences. Remember your old friend exercise? A single session of speed walking won’t yield a 5 pound weight loss. Hellsbells, if it did that treadmill wouldn’t be a dusty old clothes catcher anymore! But it doesn’t.
What it does do instantly is make you feel less stressed, makes you feel accomplished, and gives you confidence and pride in taking control of your health. (There’s science behind this — read up on the pleasure centers of the brain and its feel good juice, dopamine).
Those immediate good feelings replace the reward of the taste of cake and the act of eating. Soon enough the physical rewards will show up too and that can be your motivation to continue. Imagine the gratification of all those likes on Instagram when you post pictures of your new hotness.
I applied this method to stop eating five slices of cake but you can apply this to anything. Instant reward for paying down a credit card instead of buying boots is a better night’s sleep. Instant reward for addressing pain instead of using a pill is stress relief. It feels good to face shit that’s holding you down and cowering you into bad decisions.
A good friend of mine was an angry, drug-addicted mess for two decades and no one could figure out why; she was labeled the black sheep of her otherwise solid family. That is until she revealed the grand patriarch of that family had molested her from ages 11–14… That was hard as hell because he was the respected cornerstone but the weight of that secret was killing her and with her confession, it was lifted immediately and though it had consequences for the whole family, it helped her redeem her life and recover. Within a year, she was clean and sober and enrolled in school. I spoke to her a month ago and she was in the process of buying a home. This was all less than 2 years of facing her demon. Instant gratification and long term rewards yet none of the drug abuse consequences…
See how instant gratification can be good or bad based on your choice? Make good choices, get good instant rewards, death spiral averted!
Be well.
